Two Years, Four Months

I know I say this over and over, but it still remains true. I just can't believe Jason is gone. I still think of him constantly, wanting to reach out and give him a call or send him an email as we often did. The emotions are always one extreme or the other, I'm either crying or laughing. Every family birthday party and get together, I look up to the sky at some point and tell him that I know he is there with us. It just isn't fair that you were wrongfully taken away from all of our lives. Love and miss you little brother. Go Blue!

I Can Only Imagine

Heard this song today and of course it reminded me of Jason up in Heaven. What a great song, really makes you stop and think. Love and miss you brother.



I Can Only Imagine – Mercy Me

I can only imagine what it will be like, when I walk by your side…
I can only imagine, what my eyes will see, when Your face is before me.
I can only imagine.
Surrounded by your glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of you, be still?
Will I stand in your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing ‘Hallelujah!’? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! Yeah, I can only imagine!

I can only imagine, when that day comes, when I find myself standing in the Sun.
I can only imagine, when all I will do, is forever, forever worship you!

Oh, surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?

Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of you, be still?
Will I stand in your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing ‘Hallelujah!’? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!

I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!!
I can only imagine, when all I do is forever, forever worship you!
I can only imagine.

Songs

I listen to the radio constantly while working and I can't tell you how many times a day I hear a song that reminds me of Jason. Just now I heard R. Kelly and Celine Dion's "I'm your angel". Stops me in my tracks and breaks me down. I miss Jason so much.

New Blog Style Webpage

To make it easier to post and allow others to contribute, I changed this page. If you have any questions, please send me an email.

Two Years, Three Months (02.25.10)

Brother, time has not eased the pain. I miss you more and more each day. A song, something somebody says, a commercial - it just doesn't matter, there is always something there that reminds me of you. I want you to know how much you have touched my life in the short 33 years that I got to spend as your big brother. Love and miss you bro! Go Blue!!

Two Years, Two Months (01.25.10)

Although 26 months have come and gone, I still constantly think of Jason. Some days are better than others, I often look through old emails that he had sent me and read his blogs wondering what he would be writing now. Over the holidays, my younger brother had a dvd made with old videos and photos that we had. It was really difficult to watch, yet at the same time reminded me how prescious those times really were. The picture above is from the dvd. Love and miss you little brother, go blue!

Two Years, One Month (12.25.09)

Christmas In Heaven
We're wondering what Christmas in Heaven is like
As we grieve alone and pray,
longing for one who has gone before
To spend Christmas in Heaven today..

And so in our dreams we wander far
From the scenes and sounds of earth
‘Til we catch the strains of the Heavenly choir
As they sing of the Christ Child's birth.

The Angels we envision there
As they join in the festive play
And there amid the throng is our Loved One
Spending Christmas in Heaven today..

There's joy in the faith that teaches
When our life's work is done
Of a place in Heaven awaiting
And the crown we worked for is won..

In our grief may we learn well the lesson
So to work and suffer and pray
As to merit the joys of our loved one
And to spend Christmas together again some day.

Thinking of you on this day and remembering the many wonderful Christmas's we spent together. Love and miss you brother. Go Blue!!

Two Year Anniversary (11.25.09)

I can't believe it has been two years since Jason has been gone. I still catch myself adding his name to an email or thinking I have to call Jason and tell him this or that. Reality still has not set in for me. I miss him more and more each day.

There were several articles and news stories that ran today. I will post them as they become available. Thanks to everybody for your thoughts and prayers.

One Year, Eleven Months (10.25.09)

Boy, this time of year is really, really tough. This weekend's anniversary day was one of the toughest as Michigan played Penn State. Nobody could think of this rivalry without thinking of you. I couldn't tell you how many people I ran into this past week that mentioned this to me. I could only imagine what you would be saying to them, you always had a knack for that. Although the outcome wasn't like we would have liked, I know you were right there with us as we watched. Some of my fondest memories of you were from watching football games together, I miss those days so much and think back to them often. Love and miss you more than ever. Go Blue!!

One Year, Ten Months (09.25.09)

It's hard to imagine that it is approaching two years since we last saw you. Two weeks ago, Michigan had a big game against Notre Dame. They were trailing late and needed a big drive. I was rubbing your tattoo that I have on my arm the entire time during that last drive and I know you helped guide the Wolverines down for the final score that put them ahead for good. Football season is really hard, especially watching Michigan games. I remember how you use to come to my house and watch the games. I miss you so much brother, you are always with me. Go Blue!!

One Year, Nine Months (08.25.09)

Missing you more than ever little brother. As football season approaches, fond memories race through my head. I spent a lot of time talking to you at your peaceful resting place, catching you up with everything and talking about all the things that we use to talk about. Miss and love you bro, go blue!!

Happy 35th Birthday Jason! (08.03.09)

A Birthday In Heaven
I heard you crying today
And felt your heart-sent love
So I’m sending you this message
From Heaven up above.

I know you’re missing me today
I feel your spirit near
You’re wondering if I’ll celebrate
My birthday (way up here)

God has planned a special day for me
He told me with a wink
He ordered me a special cake
(It’s Angel food, I think)

I’m getting lots of hugs from God
He’s really good at that
And he’s assembled quite a gathering
I hear that Grammy will be there along with both my Paps.

Everybody will be wearing maize-n-blue
and cheering “Go Blue!” out loud
And balloons will fill the streets for me
As they float up through the clouds.

There's a birthday pick-up football game
where football heroes of past I will try to defend
With Hail to The Victors playing oh so sweet…
The magic never ends.

I’ve made so many friends, you see
We laugh and play and sing
We take care of each other
And sleep in Angel’s wings.

We’ll have our cake and ice cream
And open gifts, surprise!
But we don’t blow out our candles here
Instead, they light the skies.

Jason would have been 35 years old today. I miss Jason every day, but some days are extremely harder than others. Even after all this time, I still can't believe he is not here. I miss his sense of humor and talking about football. I would always send Jason's birthday into the radio station and tell him that the Wolverines would deliver his birthday present on whatever day Michigan was scheduled to play Penn State. Love and miss you brother, happy birthday.

One Year, Eight Months (07.25.09)

Still remembering you every hour of every single day. As your birthday approaches, emotions begin to run rampid. Love and miss you more than ever. Go blue!!

One Year, Seven Months (06.25.09)

Nineteen months and counting. Five minutes don't go by without thinking of Jason. Words can't describe how much he is missed and loved. Go Blue!

Address In The Stars Website (06.12.09)

Caitlin and Will have a website for their new single, Address In The Stars. Individuals can visit the site and share their stories. It's amazing how a song can touch so many, there are a lot of posts on this site in memory of loved ones that are gone but never forgotten.

Post a message, they will put it on their site after reviewing it. I did -- view message.

[ Address In The Stars ]

One More Day (06.10.09)

I hear the song "One More Day" by Diamond Rio nearly every day on the country music radio station that I listen to. Every time I hear it, I stop and feel my eyes swelling up with tears. I wish I had one more day, I'd settle for one more hour, even one more minute with my brother. This is a great song, you can watch the video here - Diamond Rio - One More Day Video

Diamond Rio, One More Day
Last night I had a crazy dream
a wish was granted just for me
it could be for anything
I didn't ask for money
or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished for one more day with you!

One more day, one more time
one more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
but then again, I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still for one more day with you
one more day...........

First thing I'd do is pray for time to crawl
I'd unplug the telephone and keep the t.v off
I'd hold you every second
say a million I love you's
that's what I'd do with one more day with you

One more day, one more time
one more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied
but then again I know what it would do
leave me wishing still for one more day with you

one more day, one more time
one more sunset maybe I'd be satisfied
but then again I know what it would do
leave me wishing still for one more day
leave me wishing still for one more day
leave me wishing still for one more day with you.

One Year, Six Months (05.25.09)

It has been a year and a half and it still feels like yesterday. I still constantly think of you and continue to search for answers. I find myself still talking to you, filling you in on football news, your kids, nieces, nephews, family stuff and then I begin asking so many "What if" questions. What if the factory wouldn't have shutdown, would we still be there? What if you would have lived in a different place? What if this, what if that, was there one thing that we could have changed to still have you here with us? We will never give up. Miss and love ya brother! Go Blue!

Thought of the day Thought of the day: Today is Memorial Day and as we sat around at a family picnic, we talked and laughed about picnics of past. How we played volleyball, rings, laughed and joked around. One particular picnic in which everybody had left the picnic, with the exception of a few (including Jason). This was back when the internet was in it's infant stages. Jason and us spent the late afternoon and evening hours that day in some risque chat rooms having some fun with the users on there. Jason was great with coming up with comebacks and one liners. He had us all howling that day and we will always cherish these memories.

Thought of the day Thought of the day: Speaking of volleyball games, I remember one time my mom, step-dad, Jason and I went to visit my uncle in Dillsburg. Upon arriving we noticed my uncle had put up the volleyball net in the yard. Jason and I challenged my uncle and step-dad to a game. We beat up on them pretty bad, so they wanted a rematch. We obliged and beat them handily again. Yet another challenge came, then another, then another, my uncle and step-dad would not give up until they had beaten us. Eight hours later, Jason and I were playing with one arm behind our back, still whooping their butts and my uncle and step-dad finally admitted defeat.

Address In The Stars by Caitlin and Will
A friend shared this song with me and it really hits home

Lyrics to Address In The Stars
I stumbled across your picture today, I could barely breathe.
The moment stopped me cold and grabbed me like a theif.
I dialed your number but you wouldn't be there.
I knew the whole time, but it's still not fair.
I just wanted to hear your voice, I just needed to hear your voice.

What do I do with all I need to say,
So much I wanna tell you everyday.
Oh, it breaks my heart,
I cry these tears in the dark.
I write these letters to you,
But they get lost in the blue.
Cause, there's no address in the stars.

Now I'm driving through the pitch black dark.
I'm screaming at the sky,
Oh, cause it hurts so bad.
Everybody tells me that all I need is time.
Then the mornin' rolls in, and it hits me again,
And that ain't nothin but a lie.

What do I do with all I need to say,
So much I wanna tell you everyday.
Oh, it breaks my heart,
I cry these tears in the dark.
I write these letters to you,
But they get lost in the blue.
Cause, there's no address in the stars.

Without you here with me,
Don't know what to do
I'd give anything just to talk to you.

Oh, it breaks my heart.
Oh it breaks my heart.
All I can do is write these letters to you.
But there's no address in the stars.

One Year, Five Months (04.25.09)

I can't believe it has been 17 months since we last saw you. You're with us every day and always will be. The NFL draft is today and I can't help but think of all of the funny comments you'd be saying. Morgan Trent got drafted by the Bengals and I immediately thought of the day you had your picture taken with him and his parents. Miss you more than ever bro! Go Blue!

One Year, Four Months (03.25.09)

I look at your picture every day and I still feel like I can reach out and touch you. I talk to you all the time, I know you hear me and I know you talk back to me. I miss you so much. Go Blue!

One Year, Three Months (02.25.09)

It is hard to believe that it has been 15 months. I miss the emails that you use to send. They always had me rolling on the floor. We are always talking about some funny story that involves you. We miss you so much bro.

Thought of the day Thought of the day: Jason was always pulling pranks on people. One particular day, we reversed the roles and got him good. After working on the night shift, a group of us headed to a local breakfast buffet (everyone knows how Jason loved BaCoN :)

A few of us conspired on the way there to tell the waitress that it was Jason's birthday (when it really wasn't) because we knew they would sing happy birthday (with all the clapping and stuff). We arrived and Jason bolted for the buffet and we secretly told the waitress.

A little later, here comes a group of waitresses carrying a cake and clapping. Jason starts laughing and even says, "look it's some dip shits birthday". We started laughing and said "yeah, it's yours". When they brought him his cake and sang to him, all he could do was shake his head and grin. When they left, he even admitted that we got him good and vowed to get us all back.

One Year, Two Months (01.25.09)

Among the most frequently repeated phrases about suffering is that “time heals all wounds” or “this too shall pass.” Time passes. It does not heal. It's what you do with that time that heals. We continue to search for answers on who committed this horrible crime. Thank you for all who have continued to pray and support for the friends and families of both victims.

Miss you more than ever bro! Go Blue!

Christmas Draws Near (12.16.08)

As Christmas draws near, I remember when we were young kids and our parents made us stay in bed until 7:00 AM. You and I shared a bedroom and would come up with ways to sneak a peak before 7:00. We would each take turns going to the bathroom and come back to the bedroom with a report of what we saw under the tree.

As we got older, we always spent the day together at the family christmas party. I usually get nominated to play Santa and still have the photo from the last time you sat on my lap. I'll cherish those moments and wish that there could have been many more. I ran across this poem and it reminds me of times like this.

If I Knew
If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.
If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.
There will always be another day to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do?"
But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today, and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear
Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.
~~ Anonymous

11/25/08 Updates One Year Later

The investigators in the case held a press conference on the one year anniversary of the double homicides. There were several local media updates for the one year anniversary.

It has been exactly one year since our lives were changed forever. I can still remember everything as if it was yesterday. From the phone call that started it all to sitting around until all hours of night with family & friends. Then there was the many days & nights of wondering why you were taken away from us. Each day is a struggle, but today is harder than most. I love and miss you brother, more than you'll ever know.

Remembering You
Upon this day I reminisce
with much sadness and regret.
The loss of my beloved
brother and close friend.

It's been a year of longing
wishing you'd return to me.
For though you left one year ago
I cannot set you free.

Emotions, they are raw today
I'm simply torn apart.
For hollow, wrenching feelings
tear apart this very heart.

An emptiness, that's deeper than
the oceans fill my soul.
A painful hunger bites my
inner self beyond control.

I see you as I turn each step
I watch for you each day.
Little brother, I miss you so
much more than words can say.

I'm thankful for the times we shared
and the priceless memories too.
For those memories are a comfort now when I lovingly ~
Remember You.

Go Blue!
Your brother forever,
Eric

Always & Forever
I can’t find the words to say,
For the emptiness that I still feel today.
It’s hard to believe that it has already been a year,
The sound of your voice and smile on your face are still so clear.
Why God took you so young, I have no clue,
But I still feel your presence in everything I do.
It isn’t fair that I not only lost my brother, but I lost my best friend.
There will always be pain and my heart will never mend.
Nothing or nobody could ever take your place,
There will come a day when I will feel your embrace.
Every time I look at the sky and turn to you,
I will always tell you how much I love you and give a big GO BLUE!!!

Always & Forever Your Brother!
Corey

You never said "I'm leaving"
You never said goodbye.
You were gone before we knew it,
And only God knows why.

A million times we needed you,
A million times we cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died.

In life we loved you dearly
In death we love you still.
In our heart you hold a place,
That no one could ever fill.

It broke our hearts to lose you,
But you didn't go alone.
For part of us went with you,
The day God took you home.

Love Always,
Dad and Step-mom

Them Boys
We Can Never Forget Your Precious Smile
And How You Brightened Our Lives Each Day
We Can Still See Your Sparkling Eyes
And Wonder Why God Took You Away
We Have Peace Of Mind And Comfort In Knowing
That You're Now With Our Lord Up Above
The Angels Are Now Taking Care Of You
With Their Everlasting Love
We Know In Your Life You Were Richly Blessed
And In Everything You Did Endeavor
For Those Of Us Who You Left Behind
You'll Be In Our Hearts Forever.

Love and miss you,
Your sister-in-law, nieces and nephews

Seems Like Yesterday (11.11.08)

In two weeks, it will be one year since you were taken from us. I can't believe it has been that long already, it seems like it happened just yesterday. I think about you every hour of every day. I have been listening to this song every day for a while now. The words expressed in it are thoughts I have had every day since you've been gone. I miss you so much and wish you were here with us. Love you man, go blue!

Who You'd Be Today by Kenny Chesney
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughin' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.

It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
And sometimes I wonder,
Who you'd be today?

Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family,
I wonder what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue,
I feel like I can talk to you,
An' I know it might sound crazy.

It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowin' no-one could take your place.
And sometimes I wonder,
Who you'd be today?

Today, today, today.
Today, today, today.

Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
The only thing that gives me hope,
Is I know I'll see you again some day.

Some day, some day, some day.

Eleven Months (10.25.08)

This month's anniversary is one of the most difficult. Today we also celebrate your daughter's sweet 16 birthday. I remember how you talked about this day all the time. Jess would always say "my dad is going to DJ my 16th birthday party". Your presence was felt and many of us wept throughout the evening as we thought of you often. I was able to watch her play volleyball a few nights ago. You would be so proud of her and I know you would have been right there cheering in the stands with everybody. She is the spitting image of you and it is impossible to look at her without seeing you in her. I know you are looking down on her special day and wishing her a happy birthday. Miss and love you brother.

Wish You Were Here (10.21.08)

If it's possible, I thought about you more than usual this past week. Michigan was playing PSU and if there was one game that you would not miss, it was that one. Michigan was 24 point underdogs and have been having a terrible year. They stunned everybody in the first half, leading at half-time 17-14. I couldn't help but think that you were watching from above and had something to do with it. Unfortunately, they went back to their normal 2008 Michigan ways in the second half. After it was over, all I could think about was if Jason was here, he would have some really good one-liners to say to all the PSU fans that would surely be high on their "soap box". You always had a way of coming up with a catchy phrase or slogan for everything. I wish I could talk to you just one more time. Whether it was football, something you found on the internet or just casual conversation, I always came away laughing. I miss you more than ever bro.

Not A Day Goes By (10.08.08)

Not a day goes by that I don't think about you
I talk to God each day, asking him to take care of you
I often wonder how it would be
If you were still here with me
I wish just once I could again see your face
And feel the comfort of my brother's embrace
Just know that even though we're apart
That you'll always be in my heart
So now I end these words to you
Not with our traditional "Go Blue!"
But rather letting you know how much I miss and love you.

Ten Months (09.25.08)

They say memories are golden, well maybe that is true,
We never wanted memories, we only wanted you.
A million times we needed you, a million times we cried.
If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died.
In life we loved you dearly, in death we love you still,
In our hearts you hold a place no one else could ever fill.
If love could build a stairway and heartache build a lane,
We'd walk the path to heaven and bring you back again.
Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.

~ Love and miss you brother! Go Blue!

~ Thought of the day Thought of the day: Jason was not the biggest of kids, but he sure was one of the scrappiest I've ever seen. He loved playing sports, especially baseball. Jason was on several All-Star teams growing up and had many memorable moments, but one that stands out the most to me and my family was one night on a Little League ballfield in Longfellow. Jason was playing for the Reedsville Tigers and they were going up against the best team in the league, who boasted two of the leagues top pitchers, Steve Cavanaugh and Mike Youtzy. When you would see these pitchers on the mound facing opponents, it was like David and Goliath. It was a tough game, but one guy these pitchers did not want to face anymore this night was Jason. On this night Jason blasted two homers and helped pitch the Tigers to victory. We still have the game ball from that night and will cherish it forever.

UM vs. ND (09.11.08)

This game reminds me of 14 years ago when you and I watched our first Michigan game together. Little did I know that after you watched this amazing game, you would become one of the maize-n-blue's most loyal fans. As I watch the games these days, I often talk to you and wonder what you would be saying if you were there watching the game with me. Love ya man, Go Blue!

Go Rest High On That Mountain (09.09.08)

My dad picked out this song and we played it at Jason's funeral. It is such a great song written by Vince Gill who originally began writing it as a tribute to Keith Whitley (first verse), but Vince did not finish it until years later -- after the death of his own brother (second verse). It is one of the most moving songs I know. Vince could not have done a better job at putting thoughts to words. Jas, miss you more than ever brother!

Lyrics
I know your life
On earth was troubled
And only you could know the pain
You weren't afraid to face the devil
You were no stranger to the rain

Go rest high on that mountain
Son, your work on earth is done
Go to heaven a shoutin'
Love for the Father and Son

Oh, how we cried the day you left us
We gathered 'round your grave to grieve
I wish I could see the angels faces
When they hear your sweet voice sing

Go rest high on that mountain
Son, your work on earth is done
Go to heaven a shoutin'
Love for the Father and Son

Good days and bad (08.27.08)

Why is it that sometimes I can think about you and smile, but most of the time I think of you and it always brings tears to my eyes. These times are especially rough because I'll hear something about the upcoming Michigan football team or their rivals and catch myself getting ready to email or call you to fill you in. I go into our fantasy football leagues and there are no wise crack remarks on the message boards. I can't hear the words "Go blue!" without thinking of you. I love and miss you more than you'll ever know!

Thought of the day: Jason was a huge participant in fantasy football. It was nothing for him to be included in tons of leagues. I use to laugh at all his posts on the message boards and the team names he would come up with.

Nine Months ~ Never give up! (08.25.08)

Each and every day, I hold a different conversation with you. It may be a chat about Michigan football, the kids or some funny joke I heard that I knew you would like. Always ending the same way, I miss you, love you and promise we will catch the S.O.B.(s) that took you away from us. Go Blue!

Cherish The Memories (08.14.08)

There are many things that I have learned through this horrible tragedy. One that I think of every day is how important the memories are.

No matter where you are, my thoughts will always be with you.

I cherish the memories of when...

We were young kids growing up in the back yard, playing ball, riding bikes, climbing trees, playing video games, trading ball cards, conspiring our next big adventure.
We be began tranistioning into adults, still always being there for each other, still playing ball, starting to discover our own distinct interests.
We started our lives as adults, working together, sharing an apartment, going out, sharing "women" problems, watching football, reminiscing and laughing.

My thoughts will always be with you, they will never be forgotten and will always live on, they will be the most cherished gift that you ever gave me.

Thought of the day Thought of the day: January, 1, 2000, Michigan was playing Alabama in the Orange Bowl and we all gathered at my house to watch it. After four quarters of regulation, the game was all tied up and it was very late. My wife and kids were in bed and it was very difficult to keep our voice and roars down to a minimum. Some of us began complaining about going into overtime, but not Jason. Jason looks at everybody and says "It's the last game of the year and the boys just want us to watch them a little longer." Michigan scored on their first posession and so did Alabama, however the Alabama kicker missed the extra point. I remember all of us cheering and then sitting on the porch smoking a cigar with big smiles on our face.

Struggling (08.08.08)

Each day is a struggle and I often ask God why. He has to remind me that he takes the best ones first. We all love and miss you so much! Keep watch over all of us.

Thought of the day Thought of the day: When Jas was 8, he and I were in the backyard one evening when our older teenage neighbor challenged us to throw tomatoes (from his dad's garden) at the neighbor's house (that nobody liked). Wanting to impress the teen, Jas and I quickly accepted the challenge and began throwing tomatoes. Next thing you know it, all the tomatoes were gone and the house was covered. Later that night, there was a knock at the door. It was the police responding to a "tomatoe incident" a few houses down. Needless to say we were busted and spent the next few hours washing the siding at our neighbor's house.

Happy 34th Birthday Jason! (08.03.08)

We had a small gathering of family and friends to celebrate Jason's birthday. We sent off 34 yellow and blue balloons, told stories, read poems, wore commemorative t-shirts (compliments of Rich and Miss), drank a few Miller Genuine Drafts (MGD) and celebrated the life of Jason.

A Birthday In Heaven
I heard you crying today
And felt your heart-sent love
So I’m sending you this message
From Heaven up above.

I know you’re missing me today
I feel your spirit near
You’re wondering if I’ll celebrate
My birthday (way up here)

God has planned a special day for me
He told me with a wink
He ordered me a special cake
(It’s Angel food, I think)

I’m getting lots of hugs from God
He’s really good at that
And he’s assembled quite a gathering
I hear that Grammy will be there along with both my Paps.

Everybody will be wearing maize-n-blue
and cheering “Go Blue!” out loud
And balloons will fill the streets for me
As they float up through the clouds.

There's a birthday pick-up football game
where football heroes of past I will try to defend
With Hail to The Victors playing oh so sweet…
The magic never ends.

I’ve made so many friends, you see
We laugh and play and sing
We take care of each other
And sleep in Angel’s wings.

We’ll have our cake and ice cream
And open gifts, surprise!
But we don’t blow out our candles here
Instead, they light the skies.

~ Thought of the day Thought of the day: For Jason's 11th birthday, he wanted a puppy. I remember getting up especially early that morning as my dad and I made a road trip to Halifax. We were making a special trip to pick a puppy from a litter of Brittany Spaniels. Once we arrived, we immediately noticed one puppy stood out. It was the runt of the litter. Without hesitation, we picked her up and brought her home. The thrill and excitement on Jason's face was priceless and something I'll never forget. He named her "LUV" and she was part of our family for many, many years. She was Jason's favorite dog and he always cuddled up with her while watching TV.

Jason and LUV

~ Jason also celebrates his birthday with one of his favorite Michigan QB's, Tom Brady and one of his favorite LOST characters, Evangaline Lilly.

Updates (08.02.08)

Daily News Update!
Thank you Huntingdon Daily News for a much needed update on this tragedy! Other local newspapers and news stations have not reported on this story since late December 2007. I guess finding 44 lb. fat cats in the street and other less news worthy stories are more important.

Police continue probe of man-woman killings
by George Germann
Daily News Staff Writer

Police say no arrests have been made and the investigation is continuing in to the murders of a Huntingdon County woman and a Lewistown area man in the morning hours of Nov. 25, 2007.

"This case is being investigated vigorously," Cpl. Brian Haubrick, a criminal investigator with the state police at Lewistown, said. "There have been no arrests. There is much we are looking into, but beyond that, there is nothing more that I can comment on."

Haubrick picked up the case from former Cpl. Troy Park, now a state police sergeant and reassigned to York.

The deaths of Sherry Jo Leonard, 43, Three Springs, and Jason M. Specht, 33, Lewistown, were ruled to be homicides in late December by Mifflin County Coroner Daniel P. Lynch.

The two were discovered by emergency personnel at approximately 4 a.m. after responding to a structure fire at Specht's mobile home along Route 22 in Granville Township, Mifflin County. The coroner had indicated that forensic evidence showed that the two died as the result of skull fractures before the fire started.

Cpl. Haubrick said he is waiting for results of additional tests, and is working closely with Mifflin County District Attorney Stephen Snook on the case.

Rough Times (08.01.08)

This week has been particularly rough as Jason's birthday draws near. We spend all of our time reflecting on all of the great times we had with Jas, yet at the same time tears always seem to prevail. Although there were so many great times, you can't help but think of all the future great times we would have had and how is life was so prematurely taken from us. Wondering how somebody is capable of doing this to other human beings, somebody who is still out there, "trying" to live a "normal" life.

Our birthday gifts to Jason this year will be the reassurance that he will not be forgotten, the reassurance that he will live on through his family and friends, the reassurance that we will do everything in our power to make sure the animal that did this is caught and the reassurance that we will never give up.

~ Thought of the day Thought of the day: I remember when we were growing up having three boys in the house that were relatively close in age. As you can imagine, we played and fought with each other. My parents were always trying to figure out new ways to punish us. One day after scolding us for fighting with each other, they had this idea that they would make us stand in the middle of the room and hug each other for 1/2 an hour while telling each other "I love you". We would always start out saying that, but as soon as mom or dad was out of the room it would turn into a laugh fest because one of would start saying things like "Somebody farted!" or "Quit grabbing my butt!" When the 1/2 hour was drawing near, we would begin planning what we were going to do when we were done hugging. Usually getting a pickup game of baseball or football. We always hated the "hugging" punishment, but often joked about it once we were older. I would give anything to go back to one of those "hugging" punishments.

Gone, But Never Forgotten

Jason had the greatest sense of humor of anybody I know. His ability to come up with witty wise cracks was second to none. If you sat down with him for a drink, you were guaranteed to be rolling on the floor laughing from the stories he would tell. He would often write some of these stories in his blog. Here are a few of our favorites:

[ Love Story ~ An encounter with Sinna Woona Wing Wang ]
[ Jason, His Sixth Grade Teacher and the Lost Reading Book ]
[ September 10, 1994 ~ A Wolverine Fan Is Born ]
[ Appalachain State ~ The QB Draw ]
[ 9 In A Row ~ A Fan's Finest Day ]

~ Gone, but never forgotten. We still sit around and talk about the hilarious times we had with Jason and enjoy hearing all the stories his friends have told us that we have never heard before.

There is no doubt, Jason will live on with us forever and he has touched our lives in more ways than we could ever imagine.

The Dash

A few months after losing Jason, I received this from my Aunt.

In July 2006, a short 3-minute movie was launched on the Internet called The Dash.. Since then, over 40 million people from around the world have watched it; and over 20,000 a day continue to watch it as a result of people passing it along.

The movie has been more successful than we could have ever imagined. More importantly, however, it has inspired many, many people to reflect on their lives and ask that all important question, "Are my priorities where they should be?"

I hope you enjoy this movie and share it with those who are close to you.

[ Click Here To Watch "The Dash" ]

Thank You (07.29.08)

Thanks to everybody who has contacted us with their thoughts and prayers. We truly appreciate it.

Eight Months (07.25.08)

I wrote your name on the sand...
but the waves washed it away.
I wrote your name on the sky...
but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in my heart...
and forever it'll stay.

~ I thought of Jason today, but that is nothing new.
I thought of Jason yesterday, and will tomorrow too.
Remembering Jason is easy, but it brings heartache each passing day.
Heartache that I know will never go away.

~ Authors Unknown

Missing You | A Tribute to my brother, Jason (07.20.08)

There is so much I wish to say
I think about you each and every day
I miss your laugh
I miss your smile
Neither lost nor forgotten
I imagine them often

It just doesn't seem real that you're not here
Where there use to be laughter, are now only tears
I'll never forget your joking ways
And the passion you had for the yellow and maize
I still watch and wait for you on game day
It's just not the same without your cheering way

Each day is harder as I realize it's true
I will never again get to hear you scream "Go Blue!"
I won't ever look at certain things the same
I still wait for your emails, a phone call just to hear you say my name
Our childhood experiences, I cherish so dearly
In my heart, I remember them so clearly

I still talk to you
I know you can hear me
Today I spoke of you and before I finished my sentence
I could already feel your presence
Constant reminders of memories through the years
Never fails to bring me to tears

It seems like forever since you've been gone
I often wish as I talk to God
That I could have just one more minute
In a world with you in it
So I could tell you
How much I miss and love my little bro

I know you're in God's hands now
It was in his game plan
I will see you again one fine day
When we'll catch up on everything in our own joking way
For now, continue to watch over us from above
An angel in heaven who will always be loved.

~ Your brother, I miss and love you more than you'll ever know.

Seven Months (06.25.08)

It has been seven months since the horrible tragedy. Football season draws near and anybody close to Jason knows how much he loved football, especially Michigan Wolverine football. This is about the time we'd all get a call or an email from Jason saying he was starting up a few (dozen) fantasy football leagues. I will always cherish the great times I had with Jason at football games, watching games on T.V. and will miss his wit and trash talk on the fantasy football message boards. Go Blue!!! Ocho-Uno forever!

Headstone (06.25.08)

On the seventh month anniversary, Jason's headstone was placed on his grave. It is a fitting tribute that incorporates his love for Michigan Wolverine football, his favorite saying "Go Blue!" and his favorite number (81). It looks great!

Five Months (04.25.08)

As kids, we lived together, We fought, we laughed, we cried. We did not always show the love, that we both had inside.

We shared our dreams and plans, and some secrets too. All the memories we share, Is what bonds me now to you.

We grew to find we have a love, that is very strong today. It’s a love shared by our family, that will never fade away.

~ We miss you so much!

Four Months (03.25.08)

My Brother, My Friend
Author: Trudy Zellmer

Through good times and bad...
Some I'll always remember
Some I wish I could forget,
Remember you will always be
My brother and my friend.

Tatoo Tribute (01.26.08)

Jason's brothers and close friends went out and got tatoos dedicated to Jason. The design incorporates the Michigan logo and Jason's name.