One Year, Six Months (05.25.09)

It has been a year and a half and it still feels like yesterday. I still constantly think of you and continue to search for answers. I find myself still talking to you, filling you in on football news, your kids, nieces, nephews, family stuff and then I begin asking so many "What if" questions. What if the factory wouldn't have shutdown, would we still be there? What if you would have lived in a different place? What if this, what if that, was there one thing that we could have changed to still have you here with us? We will never give up. Miss and love ya brother! Go Blue!

Thought of the day Thought of the day: Today is Memorial Day and as we sat around at a family picnic, we talked and laughed about picnics of past. How we played volleyball, rings, laughed and joked around. One particular picnic in which everybody had left the picnic, with the exception of a few (including Jason). This was back when the internet was in it's infant stages. Jason and us spent the late afternoon and evening hours that day in some risque chat rooms having some fun with the users on there. Jason was great with coming up with comebacks and one liners. He had us all howling that day and we will always cherish these memories.

Thought of the day Thought of the day: Speaking of volleyball games, I remember one time my mom, step-dad, Jason and I went to visit my uncle in Dillsburg. Upon arriving we noticed my uncle had put up the volleyball net in the yard. Jason and I challenged my uncle and step-dad to a game. We beat up on them pretty bad, so they wanted a rematch. We obliged and beat them handily again. Yet another challenge came, then another, then another, my uncle and step-dad would not give up until they had beaten us. Eight hours later, Jason and I were playing with one arm behind our back, still whooping their butts and my uncle and step-dad finally admitted defeat.

Address In The Stars by Caitlin and Will
A friend shared this song with me and it really hits home

Lyrics to Address In The Stars
I stumbled across your picture today, I could barely breathe.
The moment stopped me cold and grabbed me like a theif.
I dialed your number but you wouldn't be there.
I knew the whole time, but it's still not fair.
I just wanted to hear your voice, I just needed to hear your voice.

What do I do with all I need to say,
So much I wanna tell you everyday.
Oh, it breaks my heart,
I cry these tears in the dark.
I write these letters to you,
But they get lost in the blue.
Cause, there's no address in the stars.

Now I'm driving through the pitch black dark.
I'm screaming at the sky,
Oh, cause it hurts so bad.
Everybody tells me that all I need is time.
Then the mornin' rolls in, and it hits me again,
And that ain't nothin but a lie.

What do I do with all I need to say,
So much I wanna tell you everyday.
Oh, it breaks my heart,
I cry these tears in the dark.
I write these letters to you,
But they get lost in the blue.
Cause, there's no address in the stars.

Without you here with me,
Don't know what to do
I'd give anything just to talk to you.

Oh, it breaks my heart.
Oh it breaks my heart.
All I can do is write these letters to you.
But there's no address in the stars.